This last weekend I happened to do a lot of soul searching in regards to my mothering. Sometimes when I am around really fabulous women who are great mothers I feel a little incompetent in my mothering skills. I felt this way on Thursday and a little bit on Friday as well.
That was when I accompanied my sisters-in-law on a shopping trip. While we were driving, one of them expressed a concern about her mothering. My oldest sister-in-law immediately started to give advice to both of us as we commiserated over our mothering woes.
It helped me to realize that even though I feel like they are both great mothers to their children in certain areas, they still felt inadequate. One sister expressed concern, and the other possibly covered up her concern by focusing on another's.
I realized as I contemplated this scenario that there is no perfect mother. We all have our own learning curves and talents and abilities. And, some women's talents are not the same as others. I do not feel that I have a talent with self-motivation ... it is extremely hard for me to set aside my desires to do what needs to be done just because it needs to be done. It is a boring prospect for me, and tedious sometimes, so I almost always talk myself into doing something else. And, the strengths that I notice in my mother-friends and mother-family-members are not the same as mine, nor are their weaknesses.
My life and circumstances are only mine ... everyone else I know will not have the same circumstances, thus their reactions and actions are irrelevant to comparison with my own. I find that women do this, almost habitually and naturally, .... compare themselves to others.
But, this weekend I realized that I need not compare because it doesn't do any good ... in fact, it only breaks me down further. So, I've decided to stop. I am going to enjoy where I am right now and stop wishing to be somewhere else, in location, life, talents, strengths, and weaknesses. This life is not easy, but one thing I've learned is that our Heavenly Father has not left us alone. If I truly desire to be better and do better, I can ask for His help and He will give it to me because He loves me. Of all that I learned this past weekend, this is the most important point: I can receive revelation about my mothering and my children ... even over the little things. And, it is my goal to listen to that inspiration and let the Spirit of the Lord affect my life on a more regular basis.
That was when I accompanied my sisters-in-law on a shopping trip. While we were driving, one of them expressed a concern about her mothering. My oldest sister-in-law immediately started to give advice to both of us as we commiserated over our mothering woes.
It helped me to realize that even though I feel like they are both great mothers to their children in certain areas, they still felt inadequate. One sister expressed concern, and the other possibly covered up her concern by focusing on another's.
I realized as I contemplated this scenario that there is no perfect mother. We all have our own learning curves and talents and abilities. And, some women's talents are not the same as others. I do not feel that I have a talent with self-motivation ... it is extremely hard for me to set aside my desires to do what needs to be done just because it needs to be done. It is a boring prospect for me, and tedious sometimes, so I almost always talk myself into doing something else. And, the strengths that I notice in my mother-friends and mother-family-members are not the same as mine, nor are their weaknesses.
My life and circumstances are only mine ... everyone else I know will not have the same circumstances, thus their reactions and actions are irrelevant to comparison with my own. I find that women do this, almost habitually and naturally, .... compare themselves to others.
But, this weekend I realized that I need not compare because it doesn't do any good ... in fact, it only breaks me down further. So, I've decided to stop. I am going to enjoy where I am right now and stop wishing to be somewhere else, in location, life, talents, strengths, and weaknesses. This life is not easy, but one thing I've learned is that our Heavenly Father has not left us alone. If I truly desire to be better and do better, I can ask for His help and He will give it to me because He loves me. Of all that I learned this past weekend, this is the most important point: I can receive revelation about my mothering and my children ... even over the little things. And, it is my goal to listen to that inspiration and let the Spirit of the Lord affect my life on a more regular basis.
Comments
You ARE a wonderful mother, Marisa! You're the kind of mother your children need and can learn the most from. :)
I think the world of you -- aside from your talents and abilities. You are just a great person. Period. :)
Thank you for the wonderful post! T