Today I was able to attend Time Out for Women. It was a pretty good day. One of the speakers talked about how we, as women, have negative thoughts about ourselves all the time. She said that if we were to actually say to other people what we say to ourselves, we wouldn't have any friends. At that point, I leaned over to my friend and said, "Yeah. You're so stupid." She laughed. It's so true! I almost want to count all of my negative thoughts about myself just to see how many I have all day long.
For example, this morning I was thinking that the person I'd been talking to in regards to my church calling probably was rolling her eyes and complaining about my ignorance and ineptness at what I was supposed to be doing. But, imagine if I were to go up to someone I work with at church and say, "Okay, when are you going to finally understand how to do your calling? You're so stupid! Just get your act together. It's not that difficult." They would probably never come back to church. And, yet, that's exactly what I was telling myself.
Anyway, the speaker talked about how we are always so negative toward ourselves mainly because we think that if we share about our strengths we are being prideful. She said, "Myth: acknowledging my strengths is prideful. Truth: acknowledging my God-given strengths is humility."
But, think about it. Our Heavenly Father has given us strengths not only to help us, but to also help others. If no one knows about our strengths, how can they help others?
At book club last week, I was the only one who showed up for about 75-90 minutes. During that time, I was trying to get to know the host a little bit better because I haven't had the time to really talk with her. I found out that she can paint, and she also writes a pretty popular book review blog. But, I had to go digging for that information. She didn't share it openly, and when she acknowledged it she was almost embarrassed.
I've been in that position before: embarrassment for my strengths. Really, what is that about? For me, I feel embarrassed because most often the compliment is followed up with a remark like, "I can't do anything," or "I wish I had that talent." So, I'm embarrassed that acknowledging my strength/talent has made another person think badly about themselves.
The speaker challenged us all to "go public" with one of our strengths. So, today I want to express my gratitude for one of my strengths that may not seem like a strength to others. Too often, people think of the visible strengths, or talents, but forget that there are so many other strengths that aren't as obvious.
I am grateful for my ability to communicate with my husband and family members, and my ability to understand how I process information. Jon and I have worked on our communication as a couple for years, and I feel that we do a pretty good job at it. We have key phrases we say to each other that help us to know where to put ourselves emotionally before we hear the important stuff. So many times we have been able to avoid major arguments because we have learned how to communicate positively with each other.
My favorite key phrase is, "It's still in my toes. I'll let you know when it gets to my head." That's something I've learned about how I process information in regards to my feelings. Sometimes I know I am feeling something about what was said or done, but I don't know what I'm feeling. It takes me a while to process exactly how I feel about it, and whether my initial reaction is ridiculously exaggerated or not. When I say that key phrase, Jon knows that I'm not necessarily mad, and that I'll get back to him after I've processed it completely. Most often, my initial reaction is anger, frustration, or annoyance. But, then I take a step back and process it fully, and realize that my initial feelings are actually an overreaction.
To me, this is a strength that I know this about myself and that Jon knows this about me. It's helped us to communicate effectively. And, I am so grateful for our communication skills.
For example, this morning I was thinking that the person I'd been talking to in regards to my church calling probably was rolling her eyes and complaining about my ignorance and ineptness at what I was supposed to be doing. But, imagine if I were to go up to someone I work with at church and say, "Okay, when are you going to finally understand how to do your calling? You're so stupid! Just get your act together. It's not that difficult." They would probably never come back to church. And, yet, that's exactly what I was telling myself.
Anyway, the speaker talked about how we are always so negative toward ourselves mainly because we think that if we share about our strengths we are being prideful. She said, "Myth: acknowledging my strengths is prideful. Truth: acknowledging my God-given strengths is humility."
But, think about it. Our Heavenly Father has given us strengths not only to help us, but to also help others. If no one knows about our strengths, how can they help others?
At book club last week, I was the only one who showed up for about 75-90 minutes. During that time, I was trying to get to know the host a little bit better because I haven't had the time to really talk with her. I found out that she can paint, and she also writes a pretty popular book review blog. But, I had to go digging for that information. She didn't share it openly, and when she acknowledged it she was almost embarrassed.
I've been in that position before: embarrassment for my strengths. Really, what is that about? For me, I feel embarrassed because most often the compliment is followed up with a remark like, "I can't do anything," or "I wish I had that talent." So, I'm embarrassed that acknowledging my strength/talent has made another person think badly about themselves.
The speaker challenged us all to "go public" with one of our strengths. So, today I want to express my gratitude for one of my strengths that may not seem like a strength to others. Too often, people think of the visible strengths, or talents, but forget that there are so many other strengths that aren't as obvious.
I am grateful for my ability to communicate with my husband and family members, and my ability to understand how I process information. Jon and I have worked on our communication as a couple for years, and I feel that we do a pretty good job at it. We have key phrases we say to each other that help us to know where to put ourselves emotionally before we hear the important stuff. So many times we have been able to avoid major arguments because we have learned how to communicate positively with each other.
My favorite key phrase is, "It's still in my toes. I'll let you know when it gets to my head." That's something I've learned about how I process information in regards to my feelings. Sometimes I know I am feeling something about what was said or done, but I don't know what I'm feeling. It takes me a while to process exactly how I feel about it, and whether my initial reaction is ridiculously exaggerated or not. When I say that key phrase, Jon knows that I'm not necessarily mad, and that I'll get back to him after I've processed it completely. Most often, my initial reaction is anger, frustration, or annoyance. But, then I take a step back and process it fully, and realize that my initial feelings are actually an overreaction.
To me, this is a strength that I know this about myself and that Jon knows this about me. It's helped us to communicate effectively. And, I am so grateful for our communication skills.
Comments
Also, I've always believed that our "humility" is one of the greatest hindrances we women share! The inability to think positive about ourselves and recognize our God given strengths does no one any favors. I think a lot of it comes from perception. . .how the world perceives strengths/talents. Even in this liberated time for women, strength (no matter how it comes) is perceived as a manly trait and therefore we shun it. We need to realize it's not "manly" to be able to admit your strengths, and there is nothing wrong in knowing you do something particularly well! Thank you for this reminder. We need to stand up and be counted so that we can help when needed. (And I feel your pain with the "new" calling--for you. I still feel like I'm barely keeping my head afloat most days.)