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On the Massage Table

So, I went to the chiropractor yesterday.  Got another massage.  Besides the fact that I got the one massage therapist that I kind of don't like, I had some really random thoughts.


I was lying there on my stomach with my face in that little cushiony hole thingy, and all I could think was that my face was sitting on a toilet.  (Does anyone else feel like they are putting their face in a toilet when they get a massage?  Seriously.  It looks just like a toilet seat with one of those paper seat covers you use in a public restroom on top.)  And, so to make it kind of real, I started to drool.  Well, not like I was peeing drool or anything out of my mouth, just a drop here or there.  I mean, my cheeks were all spread apart, and my mouth was kind of open, so the over-produced saliva in my mouth kinda fell out.


And, while I was lying there, I thought, "Wow, I feel so sorry for this girl.  I mean, I have a zit on the back of my neck and she has to massage it.  I sure hope that doesn't mean that my neck is going to break out.  Oh my gosh, I wonder how many people with zits she has massaged today."  And, my train of thoughts just kept going like this:


"Ew, gross.  I can't even imagine touching a person's back with zits on it."


"I'm so glad I am not a doctor, or some other profession that requires touching other people."


"I wonder how many massages she gives in one day." -- proceed to estimate -- "Hmm, only about 12 today."


"Wow, 12 massages!  I can barely last 10 minutes giving Jon a massage."


"Um, I swear she just spent five minutes just on the base of my neck.  Seriously, I KNOW I have knots in other places than in my neck.  And, she hasn't moved her fingers at all.  She must have some kind of method she uses."


"I wonder if that's how all massage therapists are taught.  Start by walking with your hands down the person's back.  Then, go up the left side, hitting the lower and mid back areas, then the shoulder area.  Then, walk around to do the right side.  Lastly, massage the neck for half of the 15-minute massage because the neck has the largest muscles in the body and works the hardest."  (Really, I have no idea if this is true ... but all of my massages have been like this, so that's all the experience I have to go off of.  Anyone is welcome to correct me, or educate me on this.)


"Oh, man!  She's doing that walking down my back thing again.  That means I'm done.  Bummer."


"I'm so glad she holds down that paper stuff.  I would look absolutely ridiculous walking out of here with that stuck to the sides of my face."


Wow, I'm so glad I have all that time to contemplate my existence and ponder on the really important things in life.

Comments

Lynette said…
I've never had a professional massage...You're making me ponder deep thoughts about it, too...hahaha :) :) My sister is a masseuse and I don't know how she can do it, either!
Shilo said…
I love your train of thought...Partially because I tend to think randomness like that as well.
I am so scared to get a massage. Won a free one from a give away months ago and I haven't gone yet. But I should as it expires this month...Any advice?
Aubrey A said…
LOL! (Again!) I had to cover my mouth to keep my laughter down about "zits on the back" and how you're glad you're not in a profession that requires touching other people (insert random strangers). :) I only laugh because I think about those things all the time, I am not a people person, and I don't like touching zits either. Ewww. :)

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