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Moving Forward: Forgiveness

Be sure to scroll down and check out all of my posts ... I went on a "catch-up" spree.


After a two month long hiatus, I finally decided I should check in.  Recently, I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness ... for me.  It's one of the hardest things for me right now: forgiving myself.  For some reason I have a hard time letting my little imperfections go, and it seems to drag me down.


In the evenings when 4:30 or 5:30 rolls around, I am kicking myself because my day is almost over and I haven't been able to get everything accomplished on my list.  And, I spend time rehashing everything that I did and why I don't have the time to finish everything before bedtime.


I've learned that what I need to do is just move on.  Look at the situation and realize that I made a few mistakes, but it's okay.  It's all part of this learning experience we call life, and I've learned that there are lot of ways to make mistakes.  But, what makes this life so worth it is when I learn from them and then move on.  The moving on part has been hard for me in the last few months.


In case you weren't already aware, I am a perfectionist.  I tend to see the big picture and what is wrong with it, then analyze it and try to find the way to patch the holes.  And, along with this I am an "all or nothing" kind of person.  So, it's not worth it to me to exercise just once a week for only 20 minutes.  It has to be every single day for 40 minutes at least ... or I just don't do it.  And, if I'm not fully committed to something, or someone points out that something isn't working, I just drop it.  So, why is it so hard for me to just move on in the same fashion?  I come to the conclusion that I look at my mistakes and the wrong choices I make, then I spin a web of different options and different outcomes, hoping that one of them will work.  When it doesn't work, I give up trying ... and all the while I feel failure in myself and my faith in myself.  Which makes it hard for me to move on, because I then dwell on how to fix the giving up.


But in this last week, I realized that in my journey for self discovery, I now know that I need to let things go.  Imperfection is a part of life.  My days will never be perfect.  My choices will never be the kind of perfection I think I can accomplish.  My life will not be perfect at this time.  And, I need to forgive myself a little bit more when I see those big holes glaring at me every single day ... because try as I might, I may never be able to fix those holes by myself.  And, that's okay too.  Because maybe, just maybe, the ONLY way they will get fixed is if I ask for help ... the kind of help that gives me forgiveness even when I don't give it myself.

Comments

Aubrey A said…
So glad to have you back in the blogging world! Being a perfectionist myself I know all too well the symptoms you're expressing. The only difference is that I must be a little better at looking the other way for a while. . .until something bugs me enough that I just HAVE to correct it. HAHA! I know I'm not intimately involved in every aspect of your life, but from what I've seen of your children and what I've heard of your worry/concern you need to give yourself a break. You are a fantastic woman who I look up to so much...warts and all! Learning to let go is hard, but it's sooooo worth it. Really, you are one of the best mom/friend's I know. I am so grateful for you, because honestly there are days where I think, "If Marisa can do it with 5, I sure as heck can do it with 3!" Love you lots!!!
Ashley said…
AHH, It is SO good to hear from you, I check your blog at least 1 time a day! It looks like you guys have been super busy! We are sorry we did not make it to the baptism, I am sure he had a great day! Glad you are all doing good!! Keep the posts up!
Lynette said…
I am hardly a perfectionist, so I can't totally relate to how you are feeling. I am a procrastinator -- which leads to feeling overwhelmed which is completely avoidable. Sometimes I wish I were more thorough than I am about things in my life, but it's just not in my nature to be detail-oriented. I can see how being a perfectionist could be a real battle though, especially as a mother (and a homeschooling mother at that!).

Like Aubrey, I admire you a whole heck of a lot! I do think you are too hard on yourself and need to give yourself more credit.... :) But I realize that's easier said than done. Anyway, it's so nice to see your posts again. I stop by often. :)
Kristina Werner said…
Whew! You were busy! Thanks for updating the blog. I can't believe how much older Adam looks in the Chile rap video! Gosh, those kids keep growing fast. :)

Oh, perfectionism. It's both a good and bad thing. Good because it pushes you, but bad because sometimes we don't know how to push it back and say, "Hold on! This doesn't have to be perfect!" :)

Perhaps we need to re-frame out thinking and instead of saying we're perfectionists, we should say we're "try-ers." We'll keep trying until it works. Doesn't have to be perfect, but we'll keep trying.

Love you, sis! Can't wait to see you this weekend. :)

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